2005 may not have been that good, but I'm gonna miss the said year.
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Don't get me wrong. The things that happened to me within this year are not bad. Although 2004 gave me a lot of impact in my life. Many blessings came pouring in even tough I was always tired because of too many activities. There's the Bedan Herald, BRAVE, my inactive participation in ROCK and of course, BISA. Not to mention my then constant struggle to prove that _ _ _ _ exists. And of course, by December of 2004, I discovered the truth that was once completely unknown to me. I also made a lot of friends and acquaintances in 2004.
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Things have become steady after one year. Meaning there was nothing really significant that happened to my life, nothing made an impact to me. Last year, I made great friends. Now, however, I can't say the same with all those people I've met this year. Ok, I went out of the country at mid-September. Malaysia was great! I actually loved it. However, at some point I suddenly became bored with my life. I'm not sure - but I think I've been doing the same routine for a few years now. Same things, same activities, same school and surroundings, same people...
****
It's a given that I love my school and that I would die for it. Really, I would. Older people say they didn't learn anything from it, but I would disagree by saying Beda made me learn many things not only in school but also in life. Maybe it's also the reason why I want to graduate already... I WANT SOMETHING NEW. At last after four years I can say goodbye or farewell to the Alabang community and people and say hello to someone or something else. I can understand now the reason why half of the people want to graduate. When you've been doing the same things, seeing the same place and people life gets boring. I realized that I'm starting to crave for something new. I used to think that I can stay in San Beda for eternity but now I think otherwise. I will miss my school but I'm also willing to leave it for good and just bring my happy memories about it. :)
****
Also, before the year ends I came to realize something: That I have to choose my right occupation. I can't be a student/linguist/writer/volunteer/Christian anymore. I'll have to choose. This is what made my life weary...I've been doing a LOT of things while I'm also human to crave and enjoy the life of partying, crazy night outs and relaxing. I can't be a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none forever.
Don't get me wrong. The things that happened to me within this year are not bad. Although 2004 gave me a lot of impact in my life. Many blessings came pouring in even tough I was always tired because of too many activities. There's the Bedan Herald, BRAVE, my inactive participation in ROCK and of course, BISA. Not to mention my then constant struggle to prove that _ _ _ _ exists. And of course, by December of 2004, I discovered the truth that was once completely unknown to me. I also made a lot of friends and acquaintances in 2004.
****
Things have become steady after one year. Meaning there was nothing really significant that happened to my life, nothing made an impact to me. Last year, I made great friends. Now, however, I can't say the same with all those people I've met this year. Ok, I went out of the country at mid-September. Malaysia was great! I actually loved it. However, at some point I suddenly became bored with my life. I'm not sure - but I think I've been doing the same routine for a few years now. Same things, same activities, same school and surroundings, same people...
****
It's a given that I love my school and that I would die for it. Really, I would. Older people say they didn't learn anything from it, but I would disagree by saying Beda made me learn many things not only in school but also in life. Maybe it's also the reason why I want to graduate already... I WANT SOMETHING NEW. At last after four years I can say goodbye or farewell to the Alabang community and people and say hello to someone or something else. I can understand now the reason why half of the people want to graduate. When you've been doing the same things, seeing the same place and people life gets boring. I realized that I'm starting to crave for something new. I used to think that I can stay in San Beda for eternity but now I think otherwise. I will miss my school but I'm also willing to leave it for good and just bring my happy memories about it. :)
****
Also, before the year ends I came to realize something: That I have to choose my right occupation. I can't be a student/linguist/writer/volunteer/Christian anymore. I'll have to choose. This is what made my life weary...I've been doing a LOT of things while I'm also human to crave and enjoy the life of partying, crazy night outs and relaxing. I can't be a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none forever.
****
On handling my emotions, I have to say I did it well. For this year, I have evolved to a person who uses her head - not her heart. The only downside I think is that I'm now having a hard of time of expressing my feelings. It's now hard for me to cry. Jed said that I have become serious. And yeah, I agree. Now I can handle loneliness with so much ease (hey being single has its effects, too! ;p). It's like my heart's completely dead and my brain is the one that's functioning. This happened because for this year I have finally proven that the four letter word is NOT for me.
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I'm not bitter. I never was. In fact I don't regret anything that has happened to me in 2005. Everything was either a blessing or a trial. And I'm proud to say that I'M HAPPY and CONTENTED. Yet I dream of having a bright future for me, for my family, friends and country.
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