I lost myself

I lost myself

I’m forgetting myself lately in a way that I haven’t been keeping in mind that I’m not like the other girls out there.

I totally got lost track that I’m the girly type, the one that puts make-up and all that. Maybe it’s because of the girls I usually hang out with church. I suddenly became that quasi Barbie doll – although not totally because I ditched that high heeled shoes, skimpy skirt and overboard accessories.

Looking back, I was a girl of different tastes – depending on the age group. When I was in my pre-teens I settled for that boy look: loose pants, short hair and big shirts. I was a total tomboy! In highschool and in my early days in college I became a “mean girl” looking spoiled brat who wore expensive and branded stuff. It was cool that I had everything I wanted even down to that most pricey notebook and school supply! But later in college I became more practical and became satisfied with the simple things. I guess I really matured a lot and I have to credit God for that.

I’ve always believed that it’s better to take care of your skin in the right way – eat right, get enough sleep, don’t get stressed, don’t smoke and drink, drink plenty of water and wear sunblock. But somewhere along the way, I got crazy with the deceptive world of cosmetics. I welcomed make up in my life although a huge number of men have told me that I look better without it. (Okay, I don’t look bad in it but I just look better without it.)  Now I believe when they say that you’ll definitely get influenced by the people around you no matter how strong you are. And because of that pressure I totally forgot who I am.

I’m Cryx who is simple and dresses comfortably. I would rather spend and indulge in facials rather than empty my wallet with make up. I love flats because they maintain my pretty feet and now I feel so sorry for wearing those expensive stilettos that made my feet ache and feel less loved. I dig sporty stuff because they look oh so cool and I feel like I can just kick someone in the face with it (out of self defense). Most of all, it makes me feel a lot younger.

Okay, now I have learned and I’m slowly waking up from a dream that I’m Elle Woods living in a capital Barbie style or Samantha Mackenzie as a princess in a palace called the White House. I got my make up checklist on MAC and Clinque crossed out, probably it’s something I should have never thought of anyway – but I did so now I’m erasing it. Welcome back healthy lifestyle (and hopefully martial arts). Welcome back, Cryxy! How I have missed you so much!