When I was 12, I thought of myself as someone who will never tie the knot. You see, I was never a family oriented person. I have many ambitions and I know that having a family would be hard for me to achieve things. I use to believe that marriage would hinder all those aspirations.
Growing up, I became a major player when it comes to the dating game. Dating was more than an interest for me; it was a hobby. Serious relationships were another thing. It may sound strange but I was afraid of commitments and I do not know exactly why. Was I hurt before? Did something happen to me that made me afraid of commitment?
When I was 16, I had a thing with a guy who had to go to the States. We liked each other a lot that’s why we communicated by email, text messages and phone calls. But after several months, I got tired and decided to go out with a person that I can actually be with. He found out about it eventually and married a former classmate of his who is also in the
What happened back then is something I can never call a real relationship. Yeah, we dated when he was here but when he left it just didn’t work out – and it was my fault. I was not really hurt after we “broke up” but that made me realize that I cannot handle relationships.
My college life became a roller coaster ride of misadventures, if you know what I mean. I did all the things that every teenager did except being in a serious relationship. It was cool, really. When everyone was committed to their special someone, I was the only one who can freely do the things I want and people looked up to me because of that.
A turning point
When I started my walk as a Christian, it was then that I had the maturity about dating and relationships. FEELINGS ARE NOT SOMETHING WE PLAY WITH. If we do not have intentions to marry a person we’re dating, it’s best not to get into a relationship to begin with.
Last year was the last date of my life. I had to snap out of it simply because I knew that being with him would make me cross the line. By this time, I was starting to have convictions and it was clear to me that he is not the guy that God wants for me. It was tough to let him go but I did because I love God more.
"Don't worry, we're still good friends. Enjoy life!"
I’m actually fascinated that I haven’t been linked to a guy for the longest time. I’m proud to say that I have decided to wait for the guy whom I can spend the rest of my life with... and that means no dating, just waiting!
February of this year, I found myself writing in my journal about God’s choice for me. It was only then that I prayed for the right one after ten long years. I’m proud to say that I’m commitment phobic no more as I’m now open to the idea of marriage.
Small wonders
Who, when and how are probably the questions we ask ourselves when it comes to meeting the right person. Who is the right one for me? When / How will I meet him/her? Maybe at some point of our lives, we also wonder and ask these questions to God. If you’ll ask me if I already met him, I honestly do not know. Do I like someone? Not really. It’s just a harmless and pathetic crush. Deep inside of me, I think that I haven’t met him yet.
I still have ambitions in life that I would like to achieve before marrying. For now I would like to focus on my career (aside from God) and have a blast as a young, single and happy adult. Frankly, I feel bad for the people I know who are more than willing to throw away their single life at such an early age. I don’t mean to be legalistic at all, but we are young only once and if we are going to live until we are 90 then we are going to be married for a long, long time.
My message
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