my pursuit of happYness

i honestly don't know what to write about exactly.

recently jetsetted back home to manila. without enough rest and sleep i went to see my friends from church. seeing them once again made me miss home so much. i miss the centre, my family, that endless hangout in coffee shops, southern part of manila and i miss that laid back lifestyle.

sometimes i just feel like quitting work and going back home. being unemployed has crossed my mind so many times. life in manila is a vacation for me, not having to think about anything but traffic.

one night, i asked god why am i far away from home. don't get me wrong, i do not regret leaving but life back then seemed so simple and i just miss it.

almost a year ago, i was hearing from god about a major change in my life, and that major change meant that i had to leave a person that i had feelings for.

ok, this blog is not about love. to be honest, i'm sick of writing about it already. my point is, i realized that we have to put god first before love or whatnot. and that's what i did. now, we seem to be so apart - our lives so different but deep inside i know we only have one path that leads to god.

i woke up this morning, finding myself to be ok. after that flight, i seriously wanted to call it quits already. my life is no glamour as other people think. it requires hard work and your character is tested everyday. wisdom tells me that quitting something god gave you is deciding according to your emotions - and for sure, you'll be sorry in the end.

i don't know what my future beholds: i could be uberly successful yet be lonely for the rest of my life or have a family yet lose the things that i have. i don't even know if i will still be in the same place years from now!

but you know what, god puts that happiness in our hearts no matter tough life is. money and career isn't always everything, and when you start a family you'll need a career. no matter how challenging life gets, i just remember my spiritual family and the thought that i'm needed here and after that i'm ok.

our lives will never be perfect. but finding that real source of happiness is the only thing that can make our hearts smile.

now the question is: what makes you happy?