I was baptized a Catholic. Although my family doesn’t follow traditional practices, we go to mass every Sunday like most Catholics do. I admit my spiritual life was not healthy at all. Praying never became a habit to me. It became more of an obligation, something that I only do because it’s expected of me.
I used to think that Catholicism was not a religion. It was just a “tool” that the Spaniards used to invade Philippines. Ever since I was young, I found it irritating that I had to go to church because my parents asked (or forced) me to. I just wished that I had the power to say no to them.
I see a lot of classmates and friends who were devout Catholics. They wear crosses around their necks and would pray every night before they go to sleep but would still do nasty things as if it’s a normal thing that they should do. Like I had this old friend who goes to church weekly and prays regularly, but he treats women like crap.
Then one thought came to me - it’s better not to pray at all and still do good deeds. Praying is not a basis of being a good person; it’s in his conduct. I thought that maybe these people pray every night just to ask forgiveness and to save their souls from the eternal torment of hell.
Then I crossed paths with members of a Christian organization. Constantly searching for new members, they didn’t stop from sending me texts messages to invite me to join their group. At first I didn’t pay attention to their invites because I didn’t have the exact idea of what their group is about. I don’t know what got me to join them, but I just found myself attending to their prayer meetings and other activities.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed every bit of being a Christian. I felt relieved that I had a spiritual life because I learned how to talk to God. I actually felt being close to Him every time I’m praying. I also liked the way the pastor is creative enough to make the 2 hours exciting. No more redundant teachings! Every day, his preachings will make you want to listen, unlike in the Catholic Church where sleeping during the whole mass is the only thing I want to do.
I met friends who are basically good people who pray to God almost 24/7. They are not perfect, of course. But compared to the “worldly” people I hang out with, they are far even better than any people. We get together almost everyday to check up on one another, read the bible and pray.
Catholicism and Christianity are basically the same – but with differences. Christians are not iconoclasts like the Catholics. They pray through singing and they only believe in God – not to Mama Mary or any saints. Their only source of faith is the Bible, nothing more. And lastly, being a Christian reflects your lifestyle – they don’t smoke, get drunk or sleep around. They don’t rush into relationships and wait for the right person that God has given to them.
When the heartbreaking news that the Pope has died was spread around the world, I was one of the millions who grieved. I was still young when the Pope was at his peak and I felt that I don’t have any connection to him at all. That’s why I find it rather odd that I’m affected.
Then I thought that maybe because he was such a good man. He used his power as a pope to help those who are need, promote peace, help the youth and keep the Catholic faith in blaze. For me he is a saint and he surpasses everyone I know – even my Christian friends. He made me realize that there’s still a real Catholic out there.
If a Christian friend would tell me not to acknowledge Pope John Paul II, I will definitely get annoyed because nobody has the right to tell me not to believe to a person who was basically God’s herald here on earth.
Now, I’m in the state of perplexity. After everything that has happened I started to ask myself: “Am I Catholic or Christian?” The Pope’s death in return gave life to Catholicism and made me somehow proud of being baptized as a Catholic. I never liked most of the Catholic practices. In fact, one thing that I hated about it is confession. I never believed that you need a priest to confess all your sins. And like I said, I observed that Catholics never practice what they learn. But his death is now making me think to consider being a Catholic again.
What I like about being a Christian are their practices and the bonding that we share. There are no plastics and worldly people – at least no one that we know of in our group. But of course, there are things that I don’t like. Sometimes being in a Christian group will demand most of your time. There are twice or thrice a week meetings sans the Sunday Service that you have to attend. If you’re a student like me who does so many things, that would be demanding. How I wish that I could be at two places at one time but sadly, I couldn’t. But then again I guess my parents’ disapproval if me being a Christian makes things harder. I used to go out with a Christian a few years back. And from what I observed they tend to think that they are always right. For them what they do and believe is the right thing. How about other people who has different beliefs from them? I don’t suppose that non-Christians are evil or will go to hell because of their religion. I think that Christians should be open-minded enough. I also had Christian friends who backstab or betray others.
Am I awful to turn my back against the religion my parents wanted me to believe in? Am I terrible because I pointed out what I believe are the flaws of being a Christian? Well, I hope not because I don’t mean to be. After all, this is an opinion column. My personal views can never be wrong. I just hope that I will be enlightened soon and I will finally choose a religion I want to follow. Maybe this is a test that God gave me. Lastly, this ‘test’ also made me realize that no religion is perfect – it’s up to you if you will accept it or turn your back against it.
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