Breaks mine, breaks His.

It honestly breaks my heart to see people close to me live an unhappy life. If only they realize how much joy living with God is. I hate to see them writing things on their blogs saying that they just got heartbroken and want to commit suicide in the future. I hate to see them getting addicted to strip clubs, romantic relationships, career, cursing, drinking and smoking and perhaps having sex outside of marriage.

I hate to see them like that.

But this is because of me. The world does not exist because of me. The world does not need to please me. But it needs to please God. And with the way I see them live their lives it just make me feel sad because I know God is not happy with their wrong deeds.

Looking back, I cannot imagine how I was before, with them getting drunk, playing with boys, and living a dirty worldly life. Yes, I was once a wandering soul lost in the wilderness and I did not know where to go. Sometimes I just feel so guilty that I cannot lead them to the right path, the same way those who inspired me to change did. I try, try and try and they tease me. They persecute me. Or at least they used to and right now I just do not know anymore.

Someday, when all of these will come to an end, we will face our Creator for our final judgment and all those teasing and persecution won't matter anymore. And when that day comes I know exactly where I am going. Sadly, I also know where they will be heading. Too bad because that is the only time when we will really be apart. Okay, I hate to imagine that day but it will eventually happen. And perhaps I do not want them to blame me because I did not lead them to the light. Well, I did! And I'm still trying to!

What I did was all about GOD. I please Him. I obey Him. And I pray that they realize that. This world is all about Him! And He loves them even if they break His heart oh so badly!

Now I am so happy that I got saved.

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Calm